Alan,
I feel sick at the thought of what you must be going through right now. Rest assured though, that anyone who knows you will not do you any harm, and your captors will surely have got to know you fairly well in the last 3 months. It was terribly distressing seeing you in the last video, I feel so much for your friends and family, they must be going through hell. As your Dad said, keep your chin up Alan, you've done really well so far. You're looking a little thin though. I tell you what, when you come back I'll do you sausage and mash, feed you up a bit!
Monday 25 June 2007
Saturday 9 June 2007
Boo hiss, I'm a working Mum.
I've always tried my best to do what I think is right. I've brought my daughter up to be polite and hard-working, although the hard-working bit seems to have fallen by the wayside now that she's a teenager! Still, she's not doing too badly right now. Adults comment on how polite and friendly she is. She was bullied last year at school and seems to have come through it relatively unscathed, in that she hasn't turned into a bullying monster or retreated into herself too much. I think she's a good kid.
I am therefore very upset that people think I'm a terrible Mum because I have nearly always worked for a living, right from when she was about 8 months old. I was still with her father then, but his income was not sufficient to provide for us all. And no, we didn't have a foreign holiday once a year or a nice car or expensive clothes. There were years when we didn't have a holiday at all, the cars we had were always at least 8 years-old, and I bought clothes from markets and discount shops. The only thing I spent a fair amount of money on was my daughter's shoes because I thought that was important as she was growing.
Now I am a single parent and have been for a number of years, I still have to work to support the two of us. Working shifts is a great advantage as I can often pick up my daughter from school. The only benefit I have claimed is tax credit. Now I am a student nurse I am not eligible for working tax credit as I am allegedly not working, although I do claim child tax credit. We have not had a foreign holiday since 1998, the only holidays we have had are day trips and camping holidays in the UK. I bought camping equipment with a small bonus I received from a job I had a few years ago.
I have been reading the contributions to the BBC Have Your Say web site and working parents are being pilloried and made to feel guilty for leaving their children in the care of strangers. I am now wondering what harm I have done to my daughter. As I said before, she seems fairly normal now, but what could be brewing? My Mum worked when I was younger and I think I'm doing okay. I don't have a criminal record, I don't think I've ever been a delinquent although I did go through some strange phases as an adolescent. I don't take drugs. I like a drink occasionally, but tend to restrict it to weekends and/or social occasions. And I never spend more than £3.99 on a bottle of wine. So I think I'm a relatively average member of society. Why do I feel so bad then? I used to feel proud that I have never had to rely on a wealthy husband or the state to support me. I used to think that I was setting my daughter a good example by letting her see that I work to get the things we have, and that she should expect to do the same as she reaches adulthood. I thought she would be proud that she has a mother that doesn't sit around watching a constant stream of soaps and Jeremy Kyle and Big Brother, and one that doesn't rely on benefits to feed and clothe us. Maybe I was wrong. I would have liked to have spent more time with her when she was small, but it just wasn't possible.
I feel now that I may have made a terrible mistake. At least I have only made it once though. My daughter's father and I knew we couldn't afford to have more than one child so we didn't have any more. I have known since then that the time has never been right to have any more and now, at 36 years-old it is unlikely to happen again for me. I hope my daughter turns out okay then. I hope she doesn't feel neglected. I have done my best.
I am therefore very upset that people think I'm a terrible Mum because I have nearly always worked for a living, right from when she was about 8 months old. I was still with her father then, but his income was not sufficient to provide for us all. And no, we didn't have a foreign holiday once a year or a nice car or expensive clothes. There were years when we didn't have a holiday at all, the cars we had were always at least 8 years-old, and I bought clothes from markets and discount shops. The only thing I spent a fair amount of money on was my daughter's shoes because I thought that was important as she was growing.
Now I am a single parent and have been for a number of years, I still have to work to support the two of us. Working shifts is a great advantage as I can often pick up my daughter from school. The only benefit I have claimed is tax credit. Now I am a student nurse I am not eligible for working tax credit as I am allegedly not working, although I do claim child tax credit. We have not had a foreign holiday since 1998, the only holidays we have had are day trips and camping holidays in the UK. I bought camping equipment with a small bonus I received from a job I had a few years ago.
I have been reading the contributions to the BBC Have Your Say web site and working parents are being pilloried and made to feel guilty for leaving their children in the care of strangers. I am now wondering what harm I have done to my daughter. As I said before, she seems fairly normal now, but what could be brewing? My Mum worked when I was younger and I think I'm doing okay. I don't have a criminal record, I don't think I've ever been a delinquent although I did go through some strange phases as an adolescent. I don't take drugs. I like a drink occasionally, but tend to restrict it to weekends and/or social occasions. And I never spend more than £3.99 on a bottle of wine. So I think I'm a relatively average member of society. Why do I feel so bad then? I used to feel proud that I have never had to rely on a wealthy husband or the state to support me. I used to think that I was setting my daughter a good example by letting her see that I work to get the things we have, and that she should expect to do the same as she reaches adulthood. I thought she would be proud that she has a mother that doesn't sit around watching a constant stream of soaps and Jeremy Kyle and Big Brother, and one that doesn't rely on benefits to feed and clothe us. Maybe I was wrong. I would have liked to have spent more time with her when she was small, but it just wasn't possible.
I feel now that I may have made a terrible mistake. At least I have only made it once though. My daughter's father and I knew we couldn't afford to have more than one child so we didn't have any more. I have known since then that the time has never been right to have any more and now, at 36 years-old it is unlikely to happen again for me. I hope my daughter turns out okay then. I hope she doesn't feel neglected. I have done my best.
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