For Phyllis McCormack

I was reading a local paper, the Wilmslow Express yesterday and came across this poem, published by the columnist Vic Barlow. It was written by Phyllis McCormack and was found by her husband while he was sorting through her possessions after she had passed away. I'd like to share it with a few people.

What do you see nurses, what do you see?
What are you thinking when you look at me?
A crabbled old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with faraway eyes...
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply
When you say in a loud voice 'I do wish you'd try.'

Who seems not to notice the things that you do
And forever is losing a stocking or shoe
Who resisting or not lets you do as you will
With bathing and feeding the long day to fill.

Is that what you're thinking...is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, you're not looking at me.

I'll tell who I amass I sit here so still
As I move at your bidding, as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of ten with a father and mother
Brothers and sisters who love one another
A young girl of 16 with wings on her feet.
Dreaming that soon a lover she'll meet.
A bride soon at 20 my heart gives a leap
Twenty five now I have young of my own
Who need me to build a secure happy home.

A woman of 30, my young now grow fast
Bound to each other with ties that will last
At 40 years old my young now soon gone
But my man stays beside me to see I don't mourn
At 50 more babies play round my knee
Again we know children my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead
I look to the future and shudder with dread.
For my young are busy with young of their own
And I think of the years and the love I have known.
I'm an old woman now and nature is cruel
T'is her jest to make old age look like a fool.

The body it crumbles, grace and vigour depart
And now there's a stone where I once had a heart
But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells
And now and again my battered heart swells
I remember the joys, I remember the pain
And I'm living and loving life over again.
I think of the years all too few - gone so fast
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.

So open your eyes nurses, open and see...

Not a crabbled old woman - look closer see me.


Thanks Vic for letting me print this.

The human race

I've just noticed what I've called this blog, and of course it's purely subjective. You might think it is bollocks; you're entitled to your opinion. What I meant to portray is that I'm going to try not to fill it with all of the whining, self-indulgent crap I put in the last one.
The whole world is full of bollocks and crap right now anyway. I try not to watch the news too much, apart from updates on Alan Johnston of course. There are many terrible things happening. Kidnapping foreign journalists (Alan being the latest in a fairly long line), blowing up innocent people (Baghdad), shooting innocent people (Virginia), the situation in Darfur, to name but a few. The list goes on and on. We as people ought to hang our heads in shame for the atrocities we are capable of. What would it take to get us all to get along a bit more than we are doing? There are too many people vying for power over others, too many who aren't concerned with who they hurt just to get what they want, or to impose their ideologies on others. Some dress it up as religion. I'm not totally against religion; it has done some good things in the past, mainly for small communities, but on a larger scale has caused more problems and is more trouble than it is worth. And I'm not singling out a single religion; most have been guilty of terrible acts at various points in history. Islam has kind, peace-loving, caring ideologies, but a few choose to interpret it differently and use it for their own gains. The behaviour of Christians in the past has been terrible; just read about what was done during the Crusades in the name of God. Catholicism has a past steeped in mystery, secret financial dealings, and intimidation.
I am not an expert on religion and culture; this is just what I see. It scares me how much intolerance and hatred religion causes. We are all people, we all bleed red stuff. We all hurt, we all laugh, we all cry. We are one and the same, despite colour, culture, country of origin. Yet we treat each other dreadfully. We don't care. We should embrace difference and notice how it can enrich us as a species.
It's not going to happen of course. We are who we are. I just thought I'd let you know why I'm not watching / listening to the news as much as I used to. I just want something good to happen.

Alan Johnston

There is so much hatred and violence in the world today. So much nonsense and stupidity and pointless issues. Although I never met the man, I'm quite distraught about what has happened to Alan Johnston, the BBC reporter. Current reports say that a group has claimed to have killed him, although this hasn't been confirmed yet. What do people hope to achieve by doing things like this? It certainly isn't going to further their cause at all. If anything, it will detract from it. Alan Johnston was a champion of Palestine, he informed the west of conditions over there. We in the west would never know such things were it not for brave and caring people like Alan Johnston. I'm hoping he is still alive, but it's not looking too good for him. Why has nobody heard anything? Has it all been covered up for some reason? Surely if this was for a cause, we would have heard about it long before now. Something weird is going on with the information we are getting. I think there is much more to this than meets the eye. All you governments and secret service agencies etc involved in this, for pity's sake have some compassion and let his family and friends know what has happened to him.